Have you ever sat quietly listening to the ticking of a clock?

I decided the other day to turn off everything that distracted me…and sit in silence…I had grown weary of the sound of the television…I didn’t want music softly playing…I didn’t want to check my facebook or instagram…no emails…nothing…

I wanted to just hear the sound of that clock..A gentle reminder that time is running in the background…even when we are distracted…when we are attending to everything else…when we are drawn away…and our attention is swept up in all the mundane things of the day…

time…time hides in the corner…ticking…It is the one thing that we should address…but it is often the one thing that we ignore…time…it is precious…and should be embraced like a dear friend…who we haven’t seen for a long while…we should stop…periodically…and just listen…and as we hear the ticking of the clock…appreciate every second of every day…because time…is a gift…that should never be ignored.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom

Psalm 90:12

Father help me to stop long enough every day to appreciate the time in that day…make me keenly aware that time is a gift that you have given freely to me…and teach me to relish every single moment…in Jesus name

This past year and a half has been a time of “What Ifs”. Every day we are bombarded with news reports on Covid…economy…political unrest…racial inequity…and the list goes on and on. I find myself overwhelmed with information and confounded by misinformation. Each time I think the storm is finally passing over it rolls in again. I have had moments of ” What Ifs”. What if we have to be quarantined again? What if the children have to learn remotely again? What if this round of virus totally paralyzes the economy? What if another insurrection is successful? What if riots break out in the streets? What if one of my family members or loved ones contracts this awful virus? What If..What If…What If! Just when my restless mind begins to morph into worry…I hear a still quiet voice calmly whisper…just loud enough for me to hear…But God…But God…But God…and just like the little engine that wasn’t sure if he could make it…I hear my heart go from…I think I can…to I knew I could…But God…He is the total game changer in a world that is filled with “What Ifs”

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Deuteronomy 31:8

Thank you Lord for always gently reminding me, that although the world appears to be totally upside down, you are always with me. What is wrong will soon become right, and what is tilted will soon become straight. Your presence in my life is my constant stabilizer…my what ifs are quieted and my But God become my song. In Jesus name…Amen

I have been on pause for quite some time…I have had a series of emotions…as the pandemic…racial unrest…economic uncertainty gripped our world by the throat and shook it until it lost consciousness…I didn’t trust myself to write when I could not honestly identify my feelings…I have sat quietly…I have wept…I have raged…and at times I have become numb…Today…I awakened and said…”It’s time”…time to resume memorializing my thoughts again…time to speak what shouts loudly in my heart…So…I’m back…I’ve missed you…I wish I could say that the world has stopped spinning and has become level again…but…that would be a lie…we are still wrestling with so much…however…my perspective has changed…and though there has been change…we still have much work to do…my eyes are clearer now…my heart is steadier…I hope yours is too❤

This morning I awakened with such a heaviness in my heart…such an aching in my soul…I thought of the great darkness that has overtaken the earth…I have seen evil that has gone beyond my human comprehension…I have seen those who call on the name of Jesus spewing hatred and discord…people embracing man’s rhetoric and then attempting to ascribe a scripture to hatred…my soul is overwhelmed at friends who are members of the body of Christ calling each other out on social media…I am absolutely convinced that the virus that has consumed this world…is more a sickness in the soul.. than a sickness in the body…people lifting flawed human leaders above a Holy and flawless God…we have played into the hands of the only enemy we have…we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood…but against principalities in high places…gross darkness has caused extreme division..and the people of God have chosen sides and have declared who God is…by something as distorted as political parties…Who told you that? What makes anyone think God is red or blue?…God measures a man not by political afiliation..but by the condition of his heart…Stop it! Yes we have to vote…yes..we individually have to make a conscientious decision…but when our political views change the tenets of our faith…then correction is needed…if your words are not drawing someone to Christ…then keep silent…This is not about a political campaign…our assignment has not changed…winning souls to the kingdom of God…we have entered a tenuous place when our words become a staircase that will either lead men to heaven or to hell…your political views are yours…you cannot force them on one another by engaging in dueling posts…there is a reason why the voting booth has a curtain..it’s the same reason a bathroom has a door..it’s YOUR BUSINESS!

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are one in Christ Jesus” Galatians 3:28

Father…please remind us that we are all one…you do not delineate by political party…reunite your people so that we can be one…a formidable weapon against our enemy…the devil…the one who ever lives to sow division…in Jesus name

Outrage…sadness…despair…indignation…All of these and so much more…When will it end? When will man’s inhumanity to man cease? When will double standards and closeted oppression become just a painful memory and not a present truth? How long will we shake our heads and wring our hands? How long will we allow the color of a man’s skin to speak louder than the content of his character?

We are the church…we represent the Kingdom of God…anyone wearing that banner cannot…should not be at rest today…knowing that injustice to one man is injustice to all men…I speak to the Black and Brown Man…the White Man…the Yellow and Red Man…that amazing rainbow of God’s great Creation…His beautiful garden…His idea…not ours…I can only imagine what He must be thinking as He sees His creation judging each other by the mere color of skin and texture of hair…How ridiculous and asinine…to determine a man’s worth by the skin he is wrapped in…

Enough!…We are made in His image…To love…to create…to live in peace…to enjoy the abundant life…This is not it…This is divisive…and cruel…There is an enemy to All Men…and division is one of his greatest weapons…the second that we recognize that we are more alike than different…that we need and want the same things…to live in harmony….to make an honest wage…to raise our children in safety…to want more for the generation coming behind…to leave a legacy…to love and be loved…then and only then will walls crumble…and the evil that hides behind masks of authority will be exposed…and injustice…rather than a group of people will be attacked…

Here are some truths…that we must embrace to maintain our perspective…lest we become just like them…that small minority that will force the majority into divisive behavior…

ALL AUTHORITY IS NOT CORRUPT...the majority of law enforcement are GOOD PEOPLE… every profession has bad apples…BUT...we cannot allow them to maintain those positions…we cannot continue to film incidents and not attempt to stop and report them…GOOD COPS cannot maintain a code of silence when the bad apples begin to redefine ALL of them as evil…

There is ONE RACE…and it is HUMAN…we have distinguishing colors…because that’s what God wanted…Black is not inherently evil anymore than White is inherently good…there is good and evil in all humanity…

We must sit at tables…with pens…not guns…to create a new narrative...we must come out from the shadows and make our presence known…we must VOTE ..because IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE…we must talk to people who don’t look like us…we must get new perspectives…we must stop making excuses…and BE THE CHURCH…not the church that we created…but the one for which our Savior died...because that’s what KINGDOM PEOPLE would do…the time is NOW...while we are still passionate about injustice…we must employ our outrage for good and not evil...because if our outrage only produces social unrest…we have NOT CHANGED THE WORLD…we have simply become JUST LIKE THEM…

John 7:24 “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment”

 

 

It has taken me some time to begin writing again…because I didn’t know how or what I was feeling…

We all went from the opening and closing of each day…to…Pandemic…in an instant…the world as we knew it was literally turned on it’s axis…there was supposedly…now…a “New Normal”…which is an absolute misnomer…because there is nothing normal about this…face masks have become an accessory…”social distancing” is the way we meet…”Zoom Meetings”…are the way we connect…many of us have been quarantined for nearly three months…countless lives have been lost…sickness is everywhere…jobs have been paused or totally eliminated…food is no longer abundant…finances are fragile…and fear is palpable…you can feel it as you wait in line to enter the supermarket…you can hear it in the nervous laughter of people who desperately long to go back to what used to be…

But..in reality…we all know that… that life has gone the way of the dinosaur..it’s a wrap..no amount of praying…fasting…or “name it and claim it” will bring those days back…we have questioned God…we have tried to understand why this is happening…are we being punished for some awful thing we’ve done as a collective people? Is God angry with us? What does this all mean? Why now God?… I don’t know that any of these questions even speak to what our hearts are really feeling…nor do I think that it’s a good idea to focus our prayers there…First…I DO NOT believe that God is angry with us…if that were true…we would have had problems much sooner than this…the God that I love is full of mercy and joy…His desire is to lead His people into abundant life…but even with this knowledge..Even knowing that His very character is LOVE…I know that He can employ what is happening around us…He can put it to work…to teach us…that He ALONE is our SOURCE…that we not only NEED HIM…we NEED EACH OTHER..and the greatest lesson of all…WE CONTROL NOTHING…ABSOLUTELY…

POSITIVELY…NOTHING!!!..what I do believe is that we live in a “fallen world”..and sickness…calamity…and death…unfortunately are a part of the package…none of us are exempt from this thing called LIFE…

But this…this is a tough one…we are forced to look God squarely in the face…and say…”I need you…like I have never needed you before”…this need is different…it is a moment by moment…it is a keep my eyes kingdom focused…synchronize my ears to the sound of your voice only…it is a hold my hand when I’m losing my grip…and a season my words with faith…kind of need…that’s what it is…but…do you know something? In all this loss…there has been gain..I find myself running to Him more often…there is a greater confidence in Him…and a surrendering of my own will…growth is taking place in relationships…and the truth of who He is to me has been fully established…I have learned that less is more…and that peace is possible even in the strongest storms….yes…this is difficult…and at times seems impossible…but I keep coming back to His classroom everyday…sitting at my desk…saying…what will you teach me today? Because in all of this…I don’t just want to have survived the storm…I want to emerge better because of it…what about you?

From the end of the earth I will cry to you, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalms 61:2

At first…I heard the reports…it was distant…so it did not get my attention…then…the din of the tv pulled me in…it was getting closer…but…it was not here..not really…I quietly whispered a prayer…”for those poor people who are being affected by this awful thing”…then…then..in the background noise of my home…I heard the news anchor say the name of the county in which I reside..wait…what???…it’s here…immediately…I felt it…now it was personal…now…I listened more intently…who is it affecting?…ummmm…that’s my age group….what about my parents?…they are in the target zone of the highest death rate…what about my children…and their children…my grandson is a first responder…this is real now…it’s no longer whispered prayers for “those poor people”…but now…it is for us…for all of us…and then I could feel it…my heart beat a little more rapidly…I began “overthinking”…what ifs entered my thoughts…and then like a stealthy thief…fear softly came in and sat down…to disrupt the place that is reserved for my peace…this thing…this virus…this unseen insidious disruptor…has single handedly dismantled all that we know as “normal”…and now it was attempting to throw my peace out of alignment…I mean the world is being tilted on it’s axis…there is cause for alarm…and as I was thinking that thought…just that quickly…this song by the Wallsgroup began looping in my head…”the devil is a liar…God is exalted….because God is the greatest power…He will never…never be defeated”…over and over until my soul was saturated…I had heard that song in church several weeks before…and like a skilled DJ..the Holy Spirit pulled it right out of my memory bank….and my peace slowly course corrected…and I quickly understood…when I would hear my grandmother say…”He will give you a song in your night season”…she meant when everything around you screams be afraid…be fearful…when light has to strain to get in…God gives His people a song…a sung word…that reminds us that He is present…that He is with us…that He will never leave us…that His power is the greatest power…that His kingdom resides in each of His people…and that we can tap in….at any time..and receive His peace…His grace…His wisdom…His hope…His rest….ahhhh…a song…never knew I needed it…until I did….”the devil is a liar…God is exalted”…yes….that truth alone destroys the power of my fear…I hope you have a song….

“What is the conclusion then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will also pray with the understanding. I will sing with the spirit, and I will also sing with the understanding.” 1 Corinthians 14:15

Father…when my spirit is disquieted within me…soothe my soul with your songs that give me peace… drown out the voice of fear…call me back to our secret place that reassures me that you alone are God…that nothing I face is greater than you…and that you are covering me always with your word…thank you for your songs…they comfort me…in Jesus name

There is a peace in God that allows you to sit when everything in you commands you to stand…a peace that silences your tongue when it’s greatest desire is to speak…a peace that settles you when all hell is raging around you…a security in knowing that you are being led…that every step is being considered…a confidence in knowing that what is now uncertain has an expected end…that if I don’t allow what is trying to rattle me…make me lose my focus….I will see the outcome that God desires…

To rest in a storm is the greatest evidence of faith…I’m resting…what are you doing?

” And He said, my presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14

Father…thank you for your presence…that settles my anxious spirit…that reminds me that I am your child…and assures me that you always have your eye on me…that nothing escapes you…and above everything…you love me…dearly and always… that you are a good, good Father…this truth steadies me…and restores my peace…even in the storm….thank you for your presence…in Jesus name

I hear her in my head… sometimes…there is a phrase…a word…a value…that has been planted there by years of conversation…years of connection…years of sitting at her feet…Her words are still alive…though she passed onto glory many years ago…Through her I learned the incredible worth of words…how they impact..and leave an imprint on our souls…they echo…after you are long gone…they take up residence in someone’s heart…words…whether good or bad…they echo…they leave a ripple effect…words that heal or wound…words that guide or throw off course…words…her words…were always taken straight from the Father’s mouth…they were penned on her heart and then transferred to mine…I can see her in my mind’s eye…sitting and gazing for a moment before she answered my endless stream of questions…somehow…she never grew weary of answering…or if she did…she never showed it to me😌…I think of her often…at random times in my day…sometimes her words cause a smile to quickly run across my face…at other times I become more sober as I remember a caution she had given me that I had forgotten…I think of the many hours she invested in me…in my call…in my purpose…in God’s plan…for my life…how she sacrificed her time …she forfeited sleep…and tolerated my immaturity…she became my mentor..my friend…my surrogate mother…she invested in the kingdom…by investing in me…she never desired to see her name in lights…never sought fame…she was always quite comfortable simply being the coach…she counted it all joy to be invited into the work of God…her words remain alive in me…they continue to bear fruit…and redirect misguided feet…today…I began thinking of her because yesterday was International Women’s Day…I stand on her shoulders…because I sat at her feet…she was a warrior…one of the women who gave me my voice…I honor her today…Evelyn Baxter…your words gave me life…increased my faith…restored my position in Christ…and gently pushed me into my purpose…Sisters…I encourage you to find an Evelyn Baxter for your life…and if you were blessed enough to have one…now BE ONE…teach what you have learned…I hope your words one day…will echo in someone long after you are gone..and I pray that those words stir them up to good works!

“A person’s words can be life- giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook” Proverbs 18:4

Father…thank you for the amazing women you have knitted into the tapestry of my life…women who used your word to help shape me into the woman you created me to be…Father help me to be the kind of woman who’s legacy is words of life…words of hope…words of purpose…and that those words will remain because they came from you…in Jesus name

I love to laugh…I have always loved to laugh…I love to see people laugh…and I love to make people laugh..It is the way I have always approached life…somehow through all the storms I have weathered…God always protected my ability to see that there was always something to laugh about…I am drawn to people who love to laugh…I’m usually at the table with the “loud laughing girls”…life can be so sobering…it can drain the child out of every one of us…but I need my child… and I need her to stay full of laughter…I can’t lose that part of who I am…I have found that when you become a leader…whether in secular or spiritual life…people have preconceived notions about how you should act… certain expectations and proper decorum redefine who you are…in my younger days as a church leader…My love for laughter was seen as inappropriate…so I adapted to the environment and the expectations of others…I stopped laughing…I would smile…but no more gales of laughter…I was fully accepted…but…I felt stifled and fully fake…as I have aged and grown closer to the God who created me…I realized that what I had done was change who I was to make someone else comfortable…God reminded me that He made me…and He placed laughter in my DNA…so now I laugh..and I make others laugh..and I love it…and I am unapologetic about simply being me…I am living every dimension of me…I am a leader…that loves to laugh…I am also aware of where sobriety is needed…and I can absolutely lead with sobriety…but I can also absolutely lead with laughter…. and I do laugh…loud and often…because He created my voice to be wise…but He also created it to be light hearted and free…I can operate in both realms without losing who and what I am…As women we often adapt to our environment…we tone it down…we dumb it down…we lower our voice…we stifle our laughter…we conform…we do that so often…that we lose ourselves…and offend the God who made us…we forget who He created us to be….now…I am not condoning anarchy…nor am I saying that the rules do not apply to us…but what I am saying is…girl… laugh loudly…dance like a crazy woman..sing off key…do what makes your heart smile…the enemy of our soul wants us imprisoned while preaching freedom…well…not this girl…I choose to laugh…loudly…with enthusiasm whenever…wherever…however I can…it is another tool that our God has given to us to help us escape the darkness…Laughter….Awww…yes…….it is good for the soul…I choose to laugh…how about you?

“Sarah said, God has bought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” Genesis 21:6

Lord…thank you for every dimension of me..thank you for the sober wise me..and the light hearted childlike me…thank you for not forgetting a thing that is me…you oh God are multi- dimensional and you created me in your image to be the same… thank you for your release valves of tears and laughter…you think of everything…and I love you for it…in Jesus name