As I gathered him up to sit him on my lap…this little jumping…squiggly nearly three year old…this sweet boy…my youngest grandson…I settle in to read him a book..he sits quietly for a few minutes as I begin slowly reading…and using my best MomMom animated voice to hold his attention… and to make this story more exciting …but midway through…he begins to grab the book and attempts to turn the pages..to jump ahead of the story…I hold his little hand…and tell him…”we have to read this page first…we can’t hurry through the story…we have to take our time…and read every word…so that we can fully understand the significance of each page”…all of a sudden..it occurred to me…but Mary…isn’t that what you often do…try to rush through the pages of your life to see what comes next?…not being patient in knowing that the One who wrote the book…knows every word and knows that each one has great meaning…don’t you lose interest in “the story”…when it doesn’t seem to be moving quickly enough? I hear God saying “Don’t you…like your precious grandson…want to slide down…and run and do something else?”…as I struggled to hold his “3 year old attention”…I smiled and realized that God was teaching me a “life lesson“…”Allow ME to turn the pages of your story…I know the weight that each word carries…and I also love spending time with you…as you sit on My lap and you listen attentively to each page…you not only get to hear every aspect of your story…You get to really know ME.. the one Who wrote the book.” Do you hurry to turn the pages of your story too? Let’s allow Him the privilege of “turning the pages”…after all He is the Author and He knows how the story ends😊

As I journey through life I have learned that I am a listener…my strength is in listening…and not just hearing…I believe you can hear someone speak…but are not truly listening…It takes great patience to sit and tune out every other distraction…to arrest the “noise in your head”…to suspend “the to do list”…and to engage with the person who is speaking…I’m afraid that “listening”…is a dying art…life is so accelerated…so non-stop…that we only “hear”…but fail to “listen”…listening is intentional…it says…”you are more important than “what is next on my list”…I believe that there would be less conflict and more hope in the world…if we listened long enough to “hear the heart speak”…Who’s heart is waiting for you to slow down long enough to hear it speak?

Here I was twenty years old and full of dreams and aspirations…life at that time was seamless and carefree…I was working and planning (privately) to move out on my own…no more living under my mother’s rules…I was a WOMAN…I am able to make my own decisions…I am grown…and I am doing “grown woman” things…but as I was scurrying around…creating strategies for a “quick get-away” from what I thought was having to be accountable to my mother for my every move…I became ill…slowly…gradually…nausea and fatigue began to plague my body…so much so that I went to my family doctor…the first thing he asked was “when was the last time you had a menstrual period?”…because I was constantly on the go…I had actually lost track…I really couldn’t remember…so he took urine for THE TEST…PREGNANCY TEST…oddly enough…I wasn’t the least bit concerned…and because I wasn’t…the doctor dismissed my symptoms as “STOMACH FLU“…he gave me instructions and I went back to my job and continued executing my plans for my “NEW LIFE OF FREEDOM FROM MOM”…back then (yes…I’m old)…(you had to wait three days for the results of a PREGNANCY TEST)…so three days later as I sat comfortably at my desk…a personal call came in for me….it was my doctor’s office with my test results…I heard the word POSITIVE…and I was so naïve I actually thought that meant I was fine (don’t judge me)…the doctor explained that meant I WAS PREGNANT…”No wait…what???”…this was NOT a part of my story…how could this happen (well…I knew how…I wasn’t quite that naïve)…but…what was I going to do? How was I going to tell my mom?…what about the father?…what about MY LIFE? You know…the one “I had planned”…Fast Forward…there was no “happily ever after” with the father…there also was no “single girl apartment” somewhere in DC…and my mother (you know…the one I was trying to escape) became my “support system”…my daughter (yes…a sweet little girl) became my new focal point…MY life…the one I had planned…had taken a detour…I learned something powerful many years ago…that what you have planned doesn’t always happen…and that somehow God gives you EVERYTHING you NEED for the new plan…I made some poor decisions…and had some difficult times because of them…BUT…my life became much more meaningful and less self absorbed because of that detour…and my thinking became “other centered”…rather than “it’s all about me”…MY LIFE WAS INTERRUPTED…but this baby girl enriched my life and propelled me into my purpose (to empower women who also had their lives interrupted)…I have lived many years since then…my baby girl is a happily married mother of two amazing children…she is a skilled teacher and simply a wonderful human being…who makes me proud…she has given my life perspective and depth that would never have been tapped into…had not…my life been INTERRUPTED…What life interruptions have you had? I’m sure that if you look hard enough…you will find that you are better because of them…I know I Am…

As I sit in this room…I am amazed at the many unsung heroes that live their lives quietly without fanfare….but yet they are heros in my eyes…there are no speeches being made about them…no orchestra playing…these women…these amazing women are the most courageous, tenacious group of warriors you will ever meet…I love to watch them encouraging each other through the storms of life…they quietly find the right words to say to dry the tears of a sister who has come in overwhelmed…the encourager may herself be in a…whirlwind of her own but her hope spills over and drenches the heart of the sister who barely dragged herself in the room…this group of women have helped each other bury loved ones…have rallied around a sick bed in the hospital…have cooked food for one another…have prayed for failing marriages…have prayed over barren wombs…have celebrated retirements…have rejoiced when one announced a wedding date…have cheered for children to get a job…these women who single handedly take care of disabled relatives…who step in and nurture family and friends…who give to help others when they themselves may be experiencing lack…these women who weekly come together and take off their masks and expose their wounds to heal each other…these women who show up in the heat of summer and in the cold grip of winter…week after week…month after month…year after year…to connect…to support…to weave their lives into each others…to sit and listen…and speak…and pour into each other…they have become a lifeline to me…they are the”SISTER CIRCLE“…and I love them…the young ones…the middle aged ones and those who are seasoned…their lives make mine better…we have laughed together and wept together…this great Circle of Women…These resilient women…I didn’t know I needed them… until I did…Who do you have? Here’s what I KNOW…We all need “A SISTER CIRCLE”

As I stood in line waiting to check out…I locked eyes with her…she was dressed in Muslim garments and only her eyes were exposed…but we connected…there in her cart was a tiny baby boy…I began doing what so many women do when we see an infant..we begin to swoon over them..it’s just what we do..we become “baby whisperers”…we begin to speak “baby gibberish” and time stands still for that moment…as I looked up from engaging the sweet baby boy…I could see the smiling eyes of his mother…no words were spoken..but the baby became our bridge..the thing that connected us…we were MOTHERS..we were the SAME..we had this commonality…we love our children…the cashier rang up her purchase…and she did not have enough money…she needed a few dollars more to buy the outfit for her son…I leaned into her and quietly asked if I could make that outfit my gift to this sweet boy…her eyes welled with tears and the cashier also began dabbing at her eyes…I gave the cashier my card…paid for the item and this young mother and I exited the store together…she went to her car and I went to mine…our hearts connected..I like to call it a “God Encounter”…in a world filled with differences being the commentary of the day…three women…myself…the young mother and the cashier realized that we are more the same then different…God connected our hearts and changed our perspective of each other…He reminded us..that love is the strongest force…and that the heart of a mother can not easily deny the heart of another mother…they are the same…filled with love and hope for the next generation..that day I did not see her Muslim attire…I did not consider that because I am a Christian and she was a Muslim that we were at odds with each other…I realized that the heart of a mother sees only that…the heart…I pray that will always be what I look for first…the heart…I want to see what makes us the same…not what makes us different…what do you look for first?

She was the smallest…most unassuming demure little lady. I had no idea she would be the hurricane that turned my life upside down. She walked up to me with a confidence not often seen in a a mature woman. She stared through me and gently asked…”how are you?” Her prying eyes caused a level of discomfort that made me want to run…Who is she and why is she so focused on me? She would seek me out Sunday after Sunday following church service…I would try to avoid her gaze…but she pursued me until she could ask that same pointed question…”how are you?” I thought..”Why do you even care”? “I don’t know or trust you”…still…she would find me…until finally I returned that gaze and found myself crying…why am I crying? Why am I telling her my life and trusting her with my soulish pain…my talking to her became effortless and what… at that moment I realized was… that I NEEDED HER…to guide me..to instruct me…to teach me…to nurture me…to tell me who I was…to be the midwife who helped to birth the “authentic me”..I have a mother whom I love dearly…she would fight a bear for me…but…I NEEDED…Ms.B…I needed her brand of wisdom…I needed her to mother me into the woman that I would become…she was my MENTOR..she loved me…she challenged me..she inspired me..she tolerated me…she sacrificed sleep for me..she allowed me to take my “mask” off..as a matter of fact she assisted me in removing it..she allowed me to just be Mary…she became my “soft place to land”…She is a resident of heaven now…and I miss her everyday…but she left a rich deposit in me…her legacy is alive in me… she taught me how to be tenacious..how to work and weep simultaneously…she spoke words of victory and refused to allow conversations of defeat…I became her muse…I decided that what I knew was Not Enough…I sat at her feet…and always arose wiser…I will never understand why I was given the incredible gift…of Ms.B…but my life will always reflect her presence…we all need someone who walks ahead to light the dark places…who is walking ahead of you?

So…I did it! I sat down at my laptop and I started doing the thing that I have promised myself I was going to do…I officially started my blog…TODAY! Yes…I pushed past all of my excuses as to why I shouldn’t do this. All of the “I am too busys” and the “my plate is full enough”…and “no one is interested in what you think”…I made a DECISION…and I STARTED…It has always been my dream to write…but something always got in the way….time…children…career…family…ministry…but my heart still wanted to write…my dream has been to WRITE…sooo…TODAY…instead of dreaming…I am doing…I got STARTED…I DECIDED…life is TOO short…and DREAMS are TOO few…I am DOING and not procrastinating…no more EXCUSES…I will LIVE MY DREAM…But…Getting Started Is Always Hard…What DREAM have you been denying? Close your eyes…inhale…exhale…make a decision…to GET STARTED…IT’S HARD…But We’re GOING TO DO THIS TOGETHER!